she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
