i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
