no, he came in my armpit
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
