That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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