id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
