i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
