Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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