You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
