How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
