I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
