im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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