The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Randomize
