i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
