I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
