K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize