at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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