Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
