Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I accidentally burped into my bong.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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