When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
