Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
