I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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