Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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