i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
