i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize