Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
