Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i dont even know how to be here
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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