I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Mom said you looked used
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize