Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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