I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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