so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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