butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
