How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
