he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just tell him i said nine months
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
