We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
