I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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