4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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