So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
