Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
