I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
