You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
