Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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