i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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