I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Your cock deserves a montage
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
