Tell her she can't have a vagina
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
