I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
