so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
