i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
