Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
