and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
