Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
