That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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