How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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