I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize