It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
