Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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