I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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