I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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