He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
