I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
