i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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