I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
