Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
