Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
