it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I need a burrito and a hug.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Congratulations! We have a period
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize