you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
