well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
