OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
