I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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