Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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