I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
