Swine flu. Run for my life!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
