Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
