last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
