I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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