"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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