I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize