He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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