and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
