I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize