I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
