check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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