she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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